We have all heard it many times, especially when it comes to counseling and therapy, to stay in the present and to not focus on the past. The question is, how do we do that and how do we stay in the moment when life takes us on so many different rides and responsibilities? One of the most difficult tasks is to pick up the phone and ask for help, which is the biggest gift you can give yourself and the most important step in your self-care and mental health. All the feelings that we experience are linked directly to our needs and we choose to push them away because of the things we need to do such as work, family, parents, and children. We reach a place where we are so overwhelmed that we get depressed, short tempered, angry, and irritable.
My modality is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and mindfulness. However, I gear my modality towards the client’s needs and diagnosis. Through counseling we will work together and collaborate on how to pay attention to the feelings and how to practice mindfulness, in order to restore calm, and bring you joy and hope.
One of the main areas of therapy I focus on is infertility. Having my own personal history with infertility, I know how important it is to have a therapist who understands the roller coaster rides of the emotions of hope and disappointment month after month. As you are hoping to become a parent, and undergoing hormone therapy, inseminations, and in-vitro fertilization, the hormones go into overdrive and this affects the relationship. You may be feeling despair, depression, anger, guilt and blame. It is the same process as crisis and grief and the five stages of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Through counseling, I will help you through this stage and help you cope, understand and validate all the feelings you go through. You are not alone and you don’t have to mourn silently. I will also focus on the couple and the relationship piece that often gets ignored due to the priority of becoming a parent. Feeling connected to your partner is of utmost importance and it alleviates some of the burdens of the emotional rollercoaster.
In dealing with anxiety, I invite you to pay attention to your own needs in order to learn to self-regulate. Often as human beings we want to get rid of any uncomfortable sensation, but that can create more discomfort and more anxiety. Some degree of anxiety is normal and can be easily recognized. However, some anxiety disorders such as generalized anxiety disorders, phobias, and panic attacks interfere with the daily functioning and hence affects your quality of life. Through counseling, I will provide you with tools to listen to what your anxiety is communicating with you so you can regain a sense of calm and order.
In providing counseling to couples, I emphasize on teaching the client more effective communication and conflict resolution. At times couples feel that they need to learn to avoid conflicts, and they end up avoiding one another. Conflict is part of the relationship and we will work together in adapting a healthy conflict resolution style so that the couple can practice listening skills as well as communicating their needs.
Another important aspect of working with couples is to improve intimacy and closeness both emotionally and physically. Couples often argue over small things and we will look at the deeper underlying issues together and explore the areas that they have been avoiding in order to improve your relationship.